HOME & FAMILY

When Their Phone Can't Help

Dead battery, phone left on the nightstand, no signal at the lake. It happens to all of us, and it's usually nothing. But when someone you love goes quiet and the locator app just shows an old gray dot, it helps to know where else to look. Here are the clues I check first, and what I do if it starts to feel serious.

Older woman looking out the window, waiting to hear from family.

Quick clues to check first

Most of the time, one of these will tell you they're fine before your coffee gets cold.

An Item Tracker on the Keys

A little tracker like an AirTag on the key ring, in a purse, or tucked in the car keeps reporting where it is, even when their phone is dead or sitting at home. Android phones have their own trackers that work the same way. Set it up together, with their okay, and share it with each other so you can both see it when it counts.

Thanks to Apple Support for the YouTube video

Watch on YouTube ↗

Line drawing of keys and a car key fob hanging on a wall hook next to a round tracker, above a side table with a handbag that has a tracker clipped to its strap and a phone showing a map pin.

The Car's Own App

Many newer cars come with a phone app from the car maker that shows where the car is parked, and sometimes whether it's locked or running. If their car is sitting in the grocery store lot, that's a pretty good clue. Ask to be added as a second user, and look at what your own car's app can do before you need it.

Line drawing of hands holding a phone that shows a car and a location pin, with the family car parked in the driveway outside the window.

A Few Phone Numbers on Paper

When a phone dies, every number in it goes dark, and most of us don't know our family's numbers by heart anymore. Write down a handful: a spouse, a neighbor, a close friend, their work, and whoever they're likely to be with. Keep one copy in your wallet and one by the home phone. The free card from Ready.gov makes it easy.

Thanks to Ready.gov (FEMA) for the free card

Get the free card

Line drawing of a hand tucking a handwritten contact card into an open wallet, with a pencil nearby and a corded home phone on the table.

A Peek at the Doorbell Camera

If they have a doorbell or porch camera, the saved clips can show when they left, when they got home, and who they were with. Ask now if they'll share access with you, and find out whether clips are saved on the device or in the cloud, and for how long. One quick look can save you a lot of worry.

Thanks to Consumer Reports for this guide

Read the guide ↗

Line drawing of hands holding a phone showing a camera view of the front door, with the real front door and its video doorbell in the background.

When it's turning serious

If the quick clues come up empty and your gut says something's wrong, don't sit on it. There's no rule that says you have to wait 24 hours.

Call the Hospitals

If they had a fall or a fender-bender, they could be in an emergency room without their phone or ID. Call the hospitals near where they were last seen and ask whether they have a patient by that name, or anyone unidentified who fits their description. Privacy rules may keep staff from telling you much, so jot down who you talked to and when, and pass it along to the police.

Thanks to NAMI for this guide

Read the guide ↗

Line drawing of a worried older man with glasses on the phone at a kitchen table, his other hand pressed to his temple, a notepad and pen in front of him and a hospital visible through the window.

Ask for a Police Welfare Check

An officer will go knock on the door and make sure they're okay. Call the police or sheriff's non-emergency number where they live, not where you live. Have their address, a description, any health problems, and when you last heard from them. If you think they're hurt or in danger right now, skip all that and call 911.

Thanks to Givers for the YouTube video

Watch on YouTube ↗

Line drawing of a police officer knocking at the front door of a small house, with a potted plant by the step and a patrol car parked out front.

Grandpa TJ’s Tip

Do the homework while everybody's safe. Next time the family's together, take ten minutes and set up the sharing: the tracker, the car app, the doorbell camera. Then put the important numbers on a card for every wallet, including the police non-emergency number where each of you lives.

When someone goes quiet, give it a little time, then work down the list calmly: trackers and cameras first, then the hospitals, then the police. Nine times out of ten, it's just a dead battery.